Broken Promises: Untouched
by SSAEmilyHotchner
Summary: First in my "Broken Promises" series. Emily desperately wantes to be noticed...to feel alive. And she knows that the one person who can help her with both tasks is John Cooley. Rated M according to the new FFN guidelines - and just to be safe.


Author's Note: I've been wanting to write this story for a _really_ long time. Like...more than a year. There will be two other stories in the series, and I'll try to write them as quickly as possible. I also have to finish my "Colors of Life" series...but anyway, this is Emily's story that was covered in "Demonology." How far will she go to be noticed? Read on the find out. Hope you love it. (:

Disclaimer: I own neither Criminal Minds nor the song lyrics. If I try to steal the rights to either, angry lawyers will attack me. And you don't want that, do you? (gasps) You do?

* * *

"Emily."

Fifteen year old Emily Prentiss whirled around at the sound of her name being called.

"Oh. Hey, John."

John Cooley approached her and pressed a light kiss to her lips. "Hey. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing…" she answered, attempting a smile. She failed.

"Hey. What's wrong? You look kind of sad."

"I was just thinking about whether or not I passed my foreign language final from last year…" she lied.

"Emily, you have all A's in all of your classes. Stop lying." She looked away from her friend's gaze. "Look at me," he said softly, putting a finger under her chin and tilting her head up. "What's wrong?"

"I…I don't know, really," she said, struggling for words. Sighing, she admitted, "I don't think my parents love me very much."

John's jaw dropped open. "Are you serious, Em? Why would you even think that?"

"I know they're busy…I'm just so tired of living in different countries. Sure, I love all of them. The Middle East is beautiful…and France, Spain, Russia, and now Italy," she said, motioning around them. "But sometimes I wish I had a normal life. I wish I could live in the United States for more than a year at a time."

"Have you told your mom this?"

"Yeah, and I get the same response every time. 'Emily, I'm too busy to talk to you right now. Go and play with your friends.' Sometimes I wonder if she even remembers that I'm not five years old anymore…I'm a teenager, for God's sake!" she yelled, her anger building.

John placed a hand on her shoulder. "Emily, calm down." She broke into tears and he winced. "I'm sorry," he said, pulling her into a hug. He could feel her warm tears soaking through the thin material of his shirt. "That doesn't mean that they don't love you," he attempted.

She looked at him. "Do you know how many times I've tried to start a normal conversation with either of them? I honestly think that they never intended to have a child. I mean, look at their jobs! What kind of people would bring their daughter into this world, knowing that she wouldn't have a regular childhood? Oh, that's right, my parents."

"Listen to what you're saying, Em. Come on, there's an ice cream place around the corner that serves amazing gelato. I think you could use some fresh air and a little sugar."

"I don't need ice cream! I need someone to listen to me just this once!"

"Alright. Let's go inside, and we'll talk," he said, taking her hand and leading her away from the balcony they had previously been standing on. Sitting on the edge of her bed, he watched as Emily dropped her lean body against the mattress. "I'm listening."

She sighed. "I just feel like no one cares about me," she started.

"I do! So does Matthew!"

"I know you two care…but you guys are my best friends. I just…sometimes I need reassuring."

Lying on the bed beside her, he asked, "Like this?" He kissed her, running his tongue lightly against the outline of her lips. She kissed him back for a while, then pulled away.

"Umm…kind of."

"What do you mean?" John asked, absentmindedly playing with a lock of her hair.

"When I'm with you…or Matthew…I feel different. Alive. And I think that's what I need. To feel," she clarified, finishing quietly. She looked at him, her dark brown eyes piercing his.

"Emily…you _do_ know what you're asking, don't you?" he said, looking at her intently.

She nodded. "John, you're my boyfriend. I trust you more than almost anyone and, I mean, we're older now. More responsible."

Still staring at her, his fingers unconsciously ran across the collar of her shirt. "Are you sure?" he asked, his voice coming out in a whisper.

Closing her eyes and succumbing to his feather-like touch, she whispered back, "Yes."

_I go ooh ooh you go ah ah  
__Lalalala-ahlalala  
__I can't lie lie lie lie lie lie  
__I wanna wanna wanna get get get what I want  
__Don't stop_

_Gimme gimme gimme what you got got  
__'Cause I can't wait wait wait any more more more more  
__Don't even talk about the consequence  
__'Cause right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me_

_And I don't give a damn what they say, what they think think  
__'Cause you're the only one who's on my mind  
__I'll never ever let you leave me  
__I'll try to stop time forever never wanna hear you say goodbye  
__Bye, bye_

_I feel so untouched and I want you so much  
__That I just can't resist you, it's not enough to say that I miss you  
__I feel so untouched right now, need you so much  
__Somehow I can't forget you, I've gone crazy from the moment I met you_

_Untouched-oh_

_And I need you so much  
_

"I've never done this before," Emily said quietly.

"Neither have I." A thought hit him. "Emily, what if your parents find out?"

Silencing him with a kiss, she whispered against his lips, "Don't worry. They won't."

No words spoken between them, they shed their clothes quietly. Before they knew it, they were lying naked next each other, both nervous about the events that were sure to follow. Hovering above her, John hesitates.

"Emily…are you sure? I mean, it's not too late…"

"John, stop asking me so many questions. Yes, I'm sure. I want this."

"So do I." Tentatively, he pushed into her. She winced, hissing slightly at the penetration. He bit his lip. "I'm so sorry, Em."

"It's okay…" she said, her voice trailing away as he began a slow rhythm, pain clouding her vision.

_See you breathe you I want to be you  
__Ahlalala ahlalala  
__You can take take t-take take time time  
__To live live the way you gotta gotta live your life_

_Gimme gimme gimme all of you you, don't be scared  
__I'll see you through the loneliness of wanting more more more  
__Don't even think about what's right or wrong or wrong or right  
__'Cause in the end it's only you and me  
_

"If I'm hurting you –"

"You're not."

" – Please tell me."

"It feels good. Oh, John…" she moaned, wrapping her long legs around his.

"Hmm…" His lips trailed away from hers and found her neck, nibbling at the porcelain skin and leaving a mark. "Em, your skin is _so_ soft…"

Emily began to see stars as their bodies continued moving together. Biting back a cry of pleasure, a small whimper escaped.

"Emily…you feel so good."

"You too…ohhh…"

He moaned. "You're close. I can tell."

She nodded, not able to say anything. Seconds later, John was kissing her, muffling her cries as she reached her climax. He came with her, smoothing her hair away from her face. Pulling out of her, he gazed at her intently.

"You look…beautiful."

She blushed. "Don't."

"It's the truth."

She closed her eyes and ran her hands over her face.

"Are you okay?" he asked, propping himself up on his elbow and watching as her eyes fluttered open and she began putting her clothes back on. He did the same.

"Yes. That was…" She paused. "I don't even know how to describe it."

He smiled. "I know what you mean."

_And no one else is gonna be around  
__To answer all the questions left behind  
__And you and I are meant to be so even if the world falls down today  
__You've still got me to hold you up up  
__And I will never let you down down_

_I feel so untouched and I want you so much  
__That I just can't resist you, it's not enough to say that I miss you  
__I feel so untouched right now, need you so much  
__Somehow I can't forget you, I've gone crazy from the moment I met you_

_Untouched-oh  
__Untouched-oh  
__Untouched-oh  
__Untouched_

_Untouched-oh  
__Ahlalala ahlalala  
__Untouched  
__Ahlalala ahlalala  
_

After a few minutes passed, there was a knock on Emily's bedroom door. Emily shot a glance at John. "Who could it be?" they both thought.

"Em? John? Can I come in?" Matthew's voice called from outside the room.

Emily gracefully rose off the bed and unlocked the door. "Hey, Matthew," she greeted brightly. "What's up?"

Walking into the room, he answered, "Nothing really. My parents were taking me to dinner with them and they said that you two could come if you want." Seeing John, he nodded in greeting. "Hey, John."

"Hey, Matt."

"So, will you guys come?"

"Sure," Emily answered. "That would be great."

"Yeah, it sounds pretty cool. Where are we going?" John asked.

"I have no idea."

Emily chuckled. "Are you guys leaving now?"

"Yeah, in around…" he glanced down at his watch, "five minutes."

"Alright, well, let me change really quickly."

~.~.~

Fifteen minutes later, the three of them, along with Mr. and Mrs. Benton, were sitting in the corner of a local restaurant, eating their meals. Barely paying attention to John and Matthew's conversation, Emily sat in silence, picking at her food. She couldn't help but think of what she and John had done. Had it been the right decision? Or had it been extremely stupid? They could, or course, chalk it up to hormones. An errant thought from the back of her mind wandered to her conscience right as she was taking a sip of blackberry iced tea.

They hadn't used a condom.

She started choking on the drink, coughing loudly, and everyone at the table turned to look at her in shock. Matthew, who was sitting closest to her, immediately started patting her on the back.

"Emily? Are you okay?" Mr. Benton asked worriedly.

Taking a few deep breaths to calm down, she nodded. "I'm fine. Thank you, though."

He nodded in response and turned back to his wife.

"What happened?" John asked.

"Nothing," she lied smoothly. "My drink just went down the wrong pipe." At their concerned expressions, she smiled reassuringly. "I'm fine."

~.~.~

But she wasn't. The more she thought about her decision, the guiltier she felt. She _had_ to tell someone. She couldn't tell Matthew. "He would probably never look at me again," Emily thought. She couldn't tell her dad; he would kill John, then her. Emily paused at the thought of her mom. The ever-so-professional Elizabeth Prentiss had never made any effort to have a relationship with her daughter, but Emily wanted to change that. "She'll murder me…but this is something that you talk to your mother about," she convinced herself. "I _have_ to tell her."

So, as the Benton's drove back to the Ambassador's house, she made her way straight to her mother's office and knocked lightly on the closed door.

"Come in," she heard her mom say. Emily obliged. "Ah, Emily. How was dinner?"

"Pretty good. Look, Mom, there's something I have to tell you."

"Yes?"

Emily closed her eyes and thought, "I can't believe I'm going to tell her." She was about to blurt out, "I had sex with John," before her mom's phone rang.

"One second, Emily, I have to take this call." Stunned, Emily watched her mom pick up the phone and begin speaking in fluent Italian.

Slowly, anger rose inside her. Then she snapped. "Just forget about it, Mom!" she yelled, before walkng out of the office and slamming the door behind her.

_I feel so untouched and I want you so much  
__That I just can't resist you, it's not enough to say that I miss you  
__I feel so untouched right now, need you so much  
__Somehow I can't forget you, I've gone crazy from the moment I met you_

_I feel so untouched and I want you so much  
__That I just can't resist you, it's not enough to say that I miss you  
__I feel so untouched right now, need you so much  
__Somehow I can't forget you, I've gone crazy from the moment I met you_

_Untouched-oh  
__Untouched  
__Untouched-oh  
_

"I can't believe that I actually thought she would listen," Emily murmured to herself, tears prickling her eyes. Unaware of where she was going, she turned around a corner and ran straight into…

"Matthew!" She gasped in surprise.

"Whoa, Emily." He grabbed her shoulders in order to keep her balance. Grinning, he said, "Sorry. I didn't know that you would be right there…" His voice trailed away as he took in her expression. "Are you okay?" he asked, his smile gone.

"Yeah," she said, not looking at him.

"Emily…"

"I said I'm fine!" And with that, she took off, running to her bedroom and leaving a stunned Matthew in her wake.

~.~.~

Two weeks later, and Emily could no longer take being in the dark. Fingering the pregnancy test that she had bought a few days back, she shook her head. "It's not possible," she told herself, repeating it as if it was some odd mantra. She almost didn't want to know, but she had already taken it. The moment of truth loomed ahead of her, and she reluctantly looked down, expecting to see a negative sign.

It was positive.

"No…it can't be." She dropped the stick to the bathroom floor, overwhelming emotions surging through her body. Her mouth hung open in shock. She couldn't breathe.

"Oh my gosh…" she whispered aloud. "I'm pregnant."

_I want you…_


End file.
